From the Gotheborg Discussion Board

You Know You Are A Serious Ceramic Collector When...

From: Ian Parker, and various contributors

You frolic around almost dancing like a happy puppy when just entering an antiques fare. Portobello Road Antique Market in London is sacred ground to you.

You have an uncontrollable urge to pickup any ceramic item, flip it over to examine the base even thought you know fully well it's a modern piece. You do this in restaurants too, while dining with friends and have actually caught yourself doing it with plastic plates too.

By far the most amount of e-mail (not Spam) you get is related to the GotheborgList.

By far the majority of your book marks on your web browser are for auction listing on E-Bay.

Your reference books are not neatly kept in library form but placed within easy reach of your computer chair stacked one on top another making little sky scrapers.

The postal parcel office people know you by name.

You have dreams at night where you see swirling clouds and waves in Early Ming style, peony flowers with lips, hand and feet dancing like Vegas show girls.

You readily do the "tongue test" on unearthed pottery pieces without hesitation.

You spend hours surfing E-Bay daily at various categories looking for that treasure that has been wrongly described due to the seller's ignorance and dance a jig when you actually find one of those.

You plan your holiday travels around auctions, sales and sites where you will most likely find antiques.

You've actually kissed a ceramic item.

You've actually talked to a ceramic item.

When you bought your last camera your most serious consideration was that it would be able to take good close-ups of ceramic items.

You've long run out of space to put your ceramic items. So what do you do? You purchase a large antique shipping jar so you can store the smaller ceramic items inside.

You buy special boxes to store your more precious ceramic objects regardless of the fact that you in that case will not be able to see them.

You catalogue your collections like how the museums do it.

You've strongly considered investing in one of those salvage companies that recover ancient shipwrecks.

You've actually thought of volunteer working for a museum to get to look at their shard collection and the stuff they don't have on display, or even opening your own little museum.

You have thought about writing a book on your favorite subject.

When you see a recently dug pit, you peer inside and at the excavated earth hoping you might uncover some ceramic shards.

You have been caught trying to board a commercial aircraft with serious overweight consisting mostly of reference books and ceramics,

... and when caught prefer to air mail your clothes instead of the books.

... and after some further thoughts, you surface mail your clothes instead to save money for more porcelain.

You lie about how much your last treasure actually coasted and tell it was less then it was, to all who might challenge your sanity.

When you meet with your friends, it is more like excited kindergarten children discussing and comparing color and shapes of candies.

You refer to your favorite ceramic items by name.

When entertaining guests, you introduce the last arrival to 1. your family, 2. your other guests and 3. your favorite ceramics, and not necessary in that order.

You find yourself marrying the ceramic dealer or someone from his family.

Of the pictures you have stored on your computer the ones of ceramic pieces by far outnumbers the ones you got of your family.

You can travel around the world to look at a group of pieces that no one is sure about when they were actually made, much less by whom, so not knowing exactly what you are looking, you still like it and will do so again.

You have bought a duplicate of a porcelain book you already own.

You might have twenty vases in the house but you will still have a problem finding one you dare to have flowers in.

You buy books in a language you can't read because of the ceramic's pictures.

You challenge without hesitation the knowledge and judgment of recognized world authorities on antique ceramics.

You have thought about setting up a TL test lab yourself.

The reason only a few on the list have contributed their definitions is that most can't see what's so fun about any of this ... its perfectly normal.

The idea and firsts suggestion was submitted to the gotheborgList by Ian Parker at the end of 2002, after which a great number of members throw in their own suggestions. More definitions are added to the list as they come up.

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